One of my favorite theologians

Anna Warner.

Who?

Anna Warner, who in 1859 wrote the hymn Jesus Loves Me.

When you get right down to it, doesn’t this say it best?

Jesus love me, this I know…

For the Bible tells me so…

Little ones to Him belong…

They are weak but He is strong!

It’s like that book Everything I Ever Needed to Know I Learned in Kindergarten (by Robert Fulqum).

These days I seek to distill our complex life into simpler terms.

Jesus loves me – doesn’t that tell it all?

The dying season

Autumn is the dying season.

That sounds harsh but the leaves and flowers do die in autumn.

Isn’t it amazing that God chose such a beautiful pallet to paint the colors of life in transition.

I’ve experienced God’s splendid color schemes much more this year than any other time of my life.

I must have been too busy before.

Too busy with things that have I have died to.

Things that used to define me or that I chose to define myself.

God showed me that I really didn’t need those things.

I was far too weak to ever walk away from them so God just took them away.

He’s done that before so I recognize the pattern.

It gets easier to let them die once you realize God has your best interest at heart.

I’ve traded a false and empty richness for a true richness.

What’s really important in life is really important in my life now.

The dying season is only part of the story. We die to things we don’t need so we can plant the seeds of new and better things. Like seeds that appear lifeless and buried in the ground will soon bloom and blossom with new life.

To everything there is a season.

Treasure every season.

November 2, 1993 – One of my best days ever!

He was just three pounds and the doctors said he was “globally delayed”.

Later they said he may never walk or talk. We started to learn sign language.

But he did learn to walk and talk (sigh!).

Then they said he was high-functioning autistic.

So we started to learn about autism.

We understand it better now – at least we understand Seven.

We make autistic jokes. He laughs with us. He processes things differently…differently than what?

He has a hard time with daylight savings time – a lot of un-autistic people do too.

Did I say he was also “high-functioning loved”?

We thought we were doing a good thing taking in a little baby with so many needs.

We really didn’t know what we were getting into – that’s faith.

But, actually we were chosen by God to be a conduit for His love…a that surpasses all understanding and contradicts doctor’s predictions.

Do here is Seven on his sixteenth birthday.

He is a freshman in high school with a “B” average.

He makes friends easily and has many.

He runs cross-country pretty well.

He has played baseball, basketball, and soccer. Not bad for a kid they said was globally delayed.

He loves movies, Animal Planet, the Discovery Channel, Dirty Jobs, his family,and especially me.

He still tries to dress like me so we can look alike – hardly. His teachers say he can’t stop talking about his dad.

I am blessed far more than I deserve.

We celebrated his birthday by eating spicy noodles, sushi, and exotic ice cream.He likes what I like.

If Seven was an investment we would be rich. Like buying Apple stock in 1980. We are rich…in the things that matter.

It just proves that you can’t out-love God.

Did the leaves always make a sound when they fall?

Nine is six. Sounds like the new math. But if you are a regular reader you know what I mean.

Lately she wants to go on walks with me.

She knows my love language.

Great fall days. Scuffing through the leaves. Holding hands.

Same scene, but with One…then Two…then Three…then Four…then Five…then Six…then Seven.

Some people never have this experience.

Some have it but a couple times.

I’ve had it continually for two decades.

“I love you Daddy!”

Always the same…no it gets even sweeter…I’ll never tire of hearing it.

Did the leaves always make a sound when they fall? i don’t think I remembered it.

We are just flowers fading quickly.

I’m grateful for my bonus time.

 

October 28, 1987 – One of my best days ever!

Today is October 28th.

It is one of the top ten best days of my life.

Today is the day Three was born. Today she is 22!

Early on in our pregnancy the doctors got a reading that there may be something wrong with this baby.

We had to go see a Chinese geneticist.

He said there was a slim chance that the baby might have Spina Bifida.

Eventually we figured that he was trying to help us decide if we wanted to abort the baby instead take a chance with damaged goods.

Once we realized that we said we would rather take our chances with God.

I think God used this situation to get us closer to Him.

We prayed for that baby every day. We prayed that she would be healthy. We prayed that Gid would give us what we needed to take care of her.

Three came into the world without any defects. We would have loved her just as much if she had.

That’s a test of faith. Scary but since Lucy, not as much as before.

Mother Theresa said, “I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love.”

Back to Three.

The day she was born I was supposed to speak before the local Rotary Club at lunch. We went to the hospital for a stress test. The doctor said we had to stay to have a baby.

I had to call and cancel just an hour before lunch.

At the end of the year I received an award for the best excuse for canceling a speaking engagement.

It was.

Seriously, I think of Three as a steel magnolia.

So delicate, artistic, and creative in some ways.

Determined and dedicated in other ways.

Creative yet sturdy…soccer player…softball player…basketball player…now marathoner.

One of my best friends.

Thanks for the memories. Here’s to making lots more.

I love you.

Take Your Dad To Work Day!

Some twenty years ago I started taking kids to work on National Take Your Child To Work Day. I was one of the few. But I stuck it out.

I learned early on that you only take one child at a time unless the children were super well behaved.

It was usually a blow-off day. I remember some child asking me, “Is that all you do all day?”

I guess from a child’s perspective talking on the phone, talking to other people, opening mail and typing on a computer is pretty mundane. Come to think of it – it was!!!

Usually the highlight was to go to lunch. This was especially fun when I worked downtown Chicago.

I also learned that what was a fun lunch for adults wasn’t much fun for kids and usually a waste of money.

I remember taking Two and Three to the top of the John Hancock for lunch only to have them turn up their noses at pea soup (that Two later barfed in front of my office).

Anyway, flash forward, I spent the day with One and his three or five jobs. What fun. Fun to know what he does and fun to realize how much he has grown and in some ways, how much we are alike (aside from him being 8 inches taller and me having more hair).

It does a number on your mind because I’m constantly pressing FF and RW in my mind seeing him at two, then twelve, then today, then six.

I must do it again and regularly!

And to top off a great day we linked up with Three for a lunch at the Goose Island Pub to work on our MBA’s.

Life is good. Thanks for the memories.

A day for the record books!

Beautiful Fall day – was supposed to rain but it didn’t.

Did the Frank Lloyd 5K with Ten and Eleven in the jogger. Shaved a minute off our previous time!

Watched Three run the 10K

Dressed like penguins and went to the zoo.

Sat in the sun with a beer watching the bears play.

Our neighbors won the costume contest – first place – second year in a row!

Came home to celebrate Three’s 22nd birthday surrounded by almost all of our lovedones.

Watched the sun set from the front porch.

Making memories – feeling loved.

One of the last beautiful days in 2009.

Put this day in the record books.

The Church at Laodicea

Ever heard of this church?

It’s mentioned in the bible in Revelation 3:14-21.

This is the part where Jesus talks straight with the seven churches. These were real churches but they also represent modern-day churches that have drifted from their first love.

In this passage Jesus says, “I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth. You say, ‘I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing.’ But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked.”

Hmmmmm.

I wonder how one would translate neither hot nor cold?

Would that mean like talking about love, mercy, and compassion but not really showing it when you get right down to it?

When he says, “You say, ‘I am rich’” is that like saying our goal is to  be a city on a hill instead of saying our goal is to  serve others with love, mercy, and compassion?

Hmmmmm.

Redefining family

They introduced me as their “sister’s father”.

Say what?

Five and Six are adopted. They have been our family virtually all their lives.

But they actually have a biological family. Three brothers and a mother.

At their grandfather’s funeral their brothers introduced me as their sister’s father.

Well, that’s true…and if people walk away scratching their heads – so what?

See family isn’t what it used to be…wait a minute…maybe we are what family is supposed to be and our culture got it mixed up along the way.

I mean some of us came into the family through the birth canal. Others came through the front door.A couple have been recruited (i.e. One A and Two A).

Bottom line, God made our family. He hand picked every one of us. And even if some of us don’t live in the same house anymore, or even the same planet, any more, we are family. And I am thankful for every one of them.

Six lessons from 5 funerals

I’ve been to five funerals this year.

I guess that’s something I’ll have to get used to as the crowd I hang with gets older.

What have I learned?

Hardly anything is said about the dead person’s job. No sales goals topped. No special promotions. No gold watch.

Funny – the things we pursue the most seem to matter least in the end. So why do we pursue them so vigorously?

What does count?

1. Memories – like the prophets Simon and Garfunkel said, “preserve your memories…that’s all that’s left!” So let’s make lots more memories – I think we’re on a good path there.
2. Pictures – take lots of them – imagine the next picture you pose for will be shown for six or seven hours at your wake on a PowerPoint.
3. Laughs – laughing at the funny things said or done. It ties back into memories and pictures. None of the folks whose funerals I attended had kept a blog to make it easy for their family. You’ll thank me someday.
4. Touch – hugs are very important – I think I need to start hugging more outside of funerals. I think we need to be reminded that we are loved, not just at funerals.
5. Words of love – we all need to be affirmed that we are loved. I’m glad we all tell each other in the family that we love each other often. You never know when it will be the last time. I’m going to make sure I won’t miss an opportunity.
6. Prayers – tons of them. I am amazed at all the people who were praying for Lucy and us and still are praying for us. People we don’t know and never will this side of heaven. I think that’s why I feel so hopeful even in the darkest days. I bet more prayers are prayed for families around times of trouble than any other time. I’m going to have to step up my praying for others, even those I don’t know. Its the right thing to do.

There’s nothing like a funeral that helps us put life in perspective. It is precious, too short, should not be wasted, should be remembered and treasured. Remember God is in charge and we’re on our way to meet him.

It’s like we came into the world with a mission but got distracted by all the pretty lights. A funeral snaps us back into reality and our mission – to seek God’s will – show His love – and be conformed to the character of His son, Jesus.